Nothing to Say

I fear that I am empty

There is nothing left of me but time.  

The acceptance that my days will be spent as a butterfly who is a caretaker – never free

Nothing left to say.

Imagine, this blog is more than I can emote. 

Do I have anything to say? Worth listening to any longer…

Who wants to hear the words of a caged butterfly?

NOW

• The smallest chore overwhelms me

• Laundry piles up, both clean and dirty

• The bed goes unmade although it bothers me 

• I’ve given up on so much, there will never be a novel or even a short story

• My weight will always remain unmanageable 

A lost friend has been discovered and I wonder how long before she disappears

Nothing to say – I pray for the tides to turn. For my friend to stay with me; for me to bond and work on being connected. 

Otherwise, empty. 

A caged butterfly. 

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Lost

When I lost my father, I lost my ability to Trust. 
When I lost my sister-cousin, I lost my Faith. 

When I lost my sweet sunshine pup, I lost my any interest in opening up my heart Again. 

Now that I’ve lost my very best friend, I’ve lost ability to feel love. 

I’m lost. 

There is nothing left;  going through the motions of taking care of others; preparing for the impending future; and counting the days. 

Lost.