Now

Now, I’ve done it to myself so I truly have no right to complaint, which is the perfect preface to my Ramblings.

Aforementioned Ramblings:

It was my decision
wasn’t it
To walk away from the job.
To leave the friends behind because it took up too much time.
Too much energy and time.
was it your time or mine
not that it matters any longer

I gave myself away and asked for nothing in return.
Simple.
Expecting that others would follow my lead – and why not.

I walk alone all times of night after night
Yes, just me and my one true friend that stuck with me.
Him: The one that wasn’t a threat to you. Both of us missing his little brother.

Now, looking forward I am not sure what I see except lists, tasks and quiet resentment.

At what age is that your horizon; flat and lonely.
The others , with the plans, the panic and the passion are decades older.
Not now.

One of Grimm’s Tales has infected Walt Disney.
The would-be Princess
Trapped in the castle
The grey Knight she used to know.

He holds a ring full of sterling silver keys, shaking them so that they echo throughout the empty halls. The hair on her neck stands up and she hides away in the attic. In her pocket she has but one key, it is platinum with too many diamonds to count, and worth multiples of his rattling keychain.
Each knows that she possesses the magic – both equally aware that she fears using it.

Now, certainly these are truly the Ramblings of a girl trapped, confused and probably quite sick. Each time her bell is rung she moves out of instinct. A box sits by the door and overflows with masks, costumes and each week it seems to grow larger with her fears.

And an anniversary date so near, isn’t there always a date.
Perhaps it’s time to at least look at the key in the sunlight. It is hers.

Hers, not the voice that speaks in the halls and is fool enough to believe her deaf. Hers, not the vampires who visit far too often.

The 21st day of this month I will attempt to take the key and look at it for more than a second. Not longer fearing it’s worth. My best friend will finally speak out loud and the grey Knight will choose a color.

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