NIGHTMARE

• Post-Nightmare:
Shaking and scared!
Anxiety
Headache
Panic

• Note: the rest of text is part of repeating dream:nightmare.

• The Nightmare
Note re: during nightmare:
Crying over & over in my sleep during the dream – its out loud but HE doesn’t wake up.

• The Nightmare
Helpless
I have 3 dogs: 1, 2 (my foxhound who passed) & 3 (HER dog).
I had to save them
Walking thru burning maze
Then its a flooded maze of streets

• (Currently awake)
My heart is still beating too fast
Scared
Hands tingling

• The Nightmare
It (dream) began with my Dad
He was back and it was fuzzy
I could not tell if he was going to disappear.

– It was a repeating dream

Same short stories over and over

The Nightmare: Next
Then I’m at a breakfast restaurant with HIM, in Florida
It’s just us, HE is there all alone with me
The menu is huge and I can’t decide
Everything I say is wrong
When I do I hear him tell the waiter to bring us a huge slice of chocolate cake – it comes with his breakfast – it never shows up
HE disappears

• The Nightmare: Next
And then my mother, her twin sister (fraternal) her mother and sometime my brother
They are cruel to me
“Give us your breakfast”
They steal it
Or they ruin it by dumping things on my plate
I keep trying to leave
Everyone is talking about money
They don’t make mathematical sense
Confused and screaming (in dream & in real time)
I know and they remind me (without speaking):
“Nobody cares about you!”

They want me to give them money because my mother paid her sister, mother and son
I beg her to understand what she’s done –
She is raging

• The Nightmare: Next
Then I’m in some school but I’m a cartoon
We are playing war games
I keep panicking about the dogs
Fear of drowning because there are floods everywhere

• Note:
The different parts keep repeating
The different parts keep repeating
I can’t make it stop even though I know I’m dreaming

• Out Loud:
I’m crying out loud on and off throughout dream
I know I’m dreaming at points
I want to scream for HIM but know he won’t wake up
He won’t understand how frightened I am

• Now:
I’m awake but can’t move:
I’m still shaking
My head is pounding
I’m panicked and am on the sofa
I slept here
Desperate to get up and wake HIM for support but I don’t
Desperate to get up for Tylenol but I don’t
Desperate to use the bathroom but I don’t
I’m lying here
Panicked
Typing out the details of my nightmare
I’m not sure I’m making sense
Or if I remember everything
I just know I’m PETRIFIED: awake and asleep

Sat., Jan. 17, 2015
11:10 am:

I know my dog needs to go out but my head is throbbing and it’s too cold outside. We walked last night at 2:30 am. I’m trying to breathe, slow down my heartbeat, ignore the pain. The headache and fast heartbeat continue.

** I’m aware this is fragmented, but the nightmare-dream is the same way. Let me know if you need clarification **

20150117-232606.jpg

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