If, The End of the World

If the end of the world is upon me what is it that I should do? 

The crashing in my head wakes me nightly, my heart beating faster than I can bare.

My only solace, the only ones who I love save me from disappearing into the night sky.

Let me alone with my dogs and books, be free.

Angels and Demons

I prayed for my angel and he arrived. 

Flawed, each of us, we will work over time to come together. 

My angel will keep me alive. 

The demon that sleeps beside me stirs again.

There is no more holy water, no prayers left to help him. 

I’ve lost the strength. 

My angel is all that keeps me in this house.

My angel and I can disappear, leaving the demon to burst himself into flames. 

The demon will not take me

The demon will not take my angel

I’ve got a reason to live again

Angels and demons cannot exist in the same cathedral. 

There is no choice, do not ask me. 

Screaming Voices in my Head

There are too many voices screaming in my head. 

I cannot think clearly any longer. 

If I could scream louder an drown out the voices perhaps there would be peace. 

Instead, I implode in painful silence. 

Listening as each voice screams different words, their complaints and pleas. 

There is no relief except at night when the medication takes me far away. 

Meanwhile, I’ve no human support and nobody to talk to about the screaming in my head. 

The man in my life is selfish beyond explanation. 

He couldn’t care if he tried; simply put: he does not know how to love me. 

To the voices in my head, I say; PLEASE leave me alone and set me free.  

Let me have a life of silence, peace with just me and my dog. 

The sounds is breaking me. 

Action – Reaction

  

Action – Reaction:

My love for my new soulmate has had an amazing reaction on my husband. The man who has been ignoring me for too long, has suddenly begun to show me attention. 

Action – Reaction:

His new found adore feels wasted on me.  All of those years that I have craved his affection and attention; now they feel almost uncomfortable.  Maybe I’ve grown cold. Or just have filled my heart with other forms of love. 

Action – Reaction:

Life is complicated. I’ve spent hundreds of nights waiting for him to remember that I was in the room. Now my only concern is making sure everything I need can be delivered or has a drive-thru window. 

Action – Reaction:

I have loved my husband since the day we met with such a fierce passion. Never did I doubt that we were going to laugh and be united the rest of our days. 

Young love grows up and endures life. Lives. Cries. Builds and grows. In my mind’s eye we become a detailed braid – silly poet girl. 

Action – Reaction:

Heading toward midlife, feeling empty and alone, in a “good marriage” – my angels spoke to me. 

“Find a companion who will love you as you love him. Open your heart and be free of the darkness”

Action – Reaction:

Let time go by and the balance I once imagined in a dream become reality. 

Or, let my best friend and I stay as butterflies. 

Thank You

I asked my angel dogs, the loves of my life, what to do. 

My ever-growing misery was simply too much. 

There were days that getting out of bed, showering, and eating were just too much. 

My angels spoke to me and told me that the ONLY way to save myself was to adopt another best friend. 

He would never ever replace them in my heart; instead finding his own niche. 

The first time I saw his sweet face on the Internet, I knew. 

Today it became official:  I have a companion. 

Somebody to love and to love me back. 

I am no longer alone!!

Thank you my angels for giving me back a life that has been broken and empty for FAR too long. 

I love you forever Tobey Angel and Bob Angel. 

Please meet Drew, my newest love. 

Thank you. 

Love always,

Mama

   
 

Someone Saved My Life Tonight

Someone Saved My Life Tonight 

Written by:

Elton John & Bernie Taupin 

Lyrics

When I think of those east end lights, muggy nights

The curtains drawn in the little room downstairs

Prima donna lord you really should have been there

Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair

And it’s one more beer

And I don’t hear you anymore

We’ve all gone crazy lately

My friends out there rolling round the basement floor
And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear

You almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear

You nearly had me roped and tied

Altar-bound, hypnotized

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear

You’re a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Fly away, high away, bye bye

I never realized the passing hours

Of evening showers

A slip noose hanging, in my darkest dreams

I’m strangled by your haunted social scene

Just a pawn out-played by a dominating queen

It’s four o’clock in the morning

Damn it! listen to me good

I’m sleeping with myself tonight

Saved in time, thank god my music’s still alive
And someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear

You almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear

You nearly had me roped and tied

Altar-bound, hypnotized

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear

You’re a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Fly away, high away bye bye

And I would have walked head on into the deep end the river

Clinging to your stocks and bonds

Paying your h.p. demands forever

They’re coming in the morning with a truck to take me home

Someone saved my life tonight, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

So save your strength and run the field you play alone
And someone saved my life tonight, sugar bear

You almost had your hooks in me, didn’t you dear

You nearly had me roped and tied

Altar-bound, hypnotized

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear

You’re a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Fly away, high away, bye bye

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved, someone saved my life tonight

Link to Someone Saved My Life Tonight

*ONE SONG CAN CHANGE A LIFE*

  

Good Girl

The Good Girl says what is expected despite what she feels. 

She swallows her emotions in an effort in order to make the others happy. 

The Good Girl only found true happiness with her dogs.  

Her dogs have gone forever, leaving pain and a whole in her heart that can NEVER be replaced. 

The Good Girl would give up every human in her life if she could have her boys back. 

They gave her more love than any human could ever provide. 

INSTEAD

The Good Girl gives up and gives in. 

She puts her needs and her life “on hold” for him when he would never do the same for her. 

Hiding her resentment because it ignites his ever-growing spark; she says nothing. 

The Good Girl watches others and knows that “those lives” weren’t meant for her. 

She will grow old alone and angry. 

Nobody will know that the Good Girl is in so much pain.  

At any given moment  she could fall to her knees and howl, crying and screaming. 

People would walk the Good Girl and not even notice that she existed. 

They would be right – this Good Girl is invisible. 

  

My true love and soulmate.