I cannot rest.
Though I am exhausted.
Shaking, as I wait for him to return. Wondering who will walk through the door and what his mood will be towards me.
Shaking, as I had my first mammogram today. The results come in later this week.
His father’s words ring in my ears: “if there is anything found, remove it immediately“.
Shaking, as I wait for him to return from the doctor who dares to blame his psychosis on me. I am supposed to “take it“.
Shaking, as I wait for my stomach to churn again. As I rush for the bathroom and curse the anti-anxiety medicine which is not working.
Shaking, as I wait to find out who comes home.
Shaking, as I wait for another person dictates my life.
Watching the clock I wonder if I was wrong to tell his parents and warn his doctor.
What is love if not to protect?