Sick

I have been sicker for longer than I will ever admit. Nobody truly knows of my pains or ailments. 

Why?

The responses:

Go to this doctor. 

Lose weight. 

Are you still ______. 

That again. 

Alas, I keep to myself and await whatever comes my way. Disinterested in the outcome and awaiting the results. 

I hate the riddles he uses:  

“What do you want for your life?”  

I reply: “To be happy, feel love, give love, be remembered and live out my days with you”. 

When I turn the question on him.

“I’m not really sure – long pause – of course we would be together.” (Obviously seeing the pain on my face). 

My sickness comes internally and externally; I am unsure which is more painful. 

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