I am in a constant state of pain and flux.
The tears come and go like waves on the shore and the are ice upon my bare feet. I wait for a telephone call that leaves my stomach in knots; unaware of the topics or the outcome. All I know is that I am constantly the victim of his paranoia.
The pain never ends.
It doesn’t subside with all of the medication, the sleep or the tears that I shed. It rips through me and there is nothing that I can do to stop the eternal pain. I wait for the end that never seems to come. The agony only seems to grow exponentially.
I know what lies ahead of me.
The obvious truth of my love. The obvious life that is doomed to be mine. There is no medication for this kind of truth. The words are a waste. I am killing time until the end of days. This is my sad reality that I have created and I deserve every single moment of it.
We reap what we sow.
I believed what I was told and I was a fool. An idiot not to listen and a bigger idiot to listen. Either way, it doesn’t matter, my fate is sealed.
I wait for each shoe to drop; one at a time – knowing that they will destroy me.