Too Much: Moving & Insanity

This is just too much for me, I can’t handle it anymore. I’m losing it. 

My heart is racing while I frantically attempt to go through everything and everything.  All the while he sits and watches television and tells me to sit and relax. 

Honestly?!  Relax?!

This is too much!! 

It’s simple for him to relax because the whole world revolves around him. 

He’s no more useful than my dear dog. At lest my dog gives me love in return for my time. He gives me things to do. “My mother wants to talk to you“. I’ve no time for your mother!

My anxiety and panic are at a fever pitch as I peer over the landing to see my dog fast asleep and YOU kicked back, watching television. Your only accomplishment for the day is going to the ATM. You need money for what?  

I would cry but refuse to give you the satisfaction of thinking that I cannot handle the move. 

I CAN and WILL do this on MY OWN. Just as I do EVERYTHING ON MY OWN!  Your insanity is only a bump in the road. Here and gone – serving only to torture me. 

Who needs sleep?  

Do you care if I run myself ragged?  

I am falling to pieces while you sit in comfort and wait for the simple move. It’s NOT fair; but fair is not in my vocabulary. Fair has never applied to me. 

The woman who passes out for a few hours a night on the sofa, walking the dog at 2:00 in the morning while you sleep. Supporting your insanity and never screaming out, “HOW DARE YOU BE SO DISABLED?!”  

How did I miss the fact that I would forever be the childless mother to all of those that I would encounter?!  

Where is my mother?  

Why didn’t I get s mother?  

Why did I lose my father? 

Why did I lose my only sister-cousin? 

Why did I lose my other baby–dog? 

WHY ME!?  

Aren’t I allowed some self-pity?  Not that I have anyone who cares except s lone person whom I pay to listen to my cries. Talk about a pathetic life – I can’t believe it. 

I was just told that MY stress needs to STOP because it stresses out HIM and the DOG!  Seriously?!  

This is OUR move but as always my responsibility. I shouldn’t be surprised and yet I am. I always am surprised when the burden all falls upon me. 

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid Girl!!

Too Much:  Moving & Insanity!


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