My sweet hound wakes me from my bed on the sofa earlier than I would have liked but I drag myself out from under a pile of pillows to give him breakfast.
Any attempt to swallow food is followed by a gagging sensation and so I give up and decide to face the spring morning. Unfortunately God has given me singing birds and sunshine when I desire dark clouds and rain.
My best friend listens as I pour out my pain and then falls asleep under a park bench. Even he cannot endure my pain.
And so I blast an email with ALL of my contact information to my male cousins and my biological brother:
“It has been five years since my father passed away.
You are a disappointment to him in more ways than you can imagine.
He did more for you and your mother than you will ever know. Ask her.
You’ve got no shame.
Today (of all days) I have the right to let you know how you’ve failed him.
You’ll delete this email; probably laugh it off or think that I despondent, still.
Regardless, I carry him with me always and am obligated to remind you of your failures.
Shame on you.
I expect no response therefore including my contact information is wasted. I would love for just one of them to justify themselves!
Rantings of a lost and lonely child.