The Pain of Truth

For some reason I told him the TRUTH today. Love does not equal happiness and that I am considering leaving at the end of the year. 

Pain filled every crevice of the entire house. I felt as though I was a monster; he was a shocked victim. Now my head pounds and I wish that I had kept my secret. 

Purging my sins, I told him that I wasn’t on the medicines which he believed kept me “in line” for at least a year. Indeed, a slight exaggeration but my point was that he did not know me any longer. 

Of course we bickered; words were exchanged that will never be rescinded. 

Now, in the darkness, I walk with my best friend while he is (no doubt) on the telephone with one of his best friends. 

It was cruel of me; I should not have said a word. 

WHY?

Because here we are a day later and I am being punished. He is walking around wearing depression like a veil. 

He told one of his best friends, who then proceeded to interrogate me today. I allowed this ass to grill me for almost thirty minutes.  When I hung up and expressed my displeasure to my husband. He explained that this was (like everything else) MY fault. 

I’m exhausted, angry and worn out. There is only so much a human can endure before they break. I fear that I’ve broken a long time ago but haven’t had had the sense to lay down and give up. 

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