I lost my only sister in the Spring of 2013; she was eleven years my senior. There are a million regrets which keep me awake at night. I was jealous, worshipped her and wanted to “be her” – well, until the end… She walked off a building, forgetting to call me first to stop her.
• Of late my godchildren have been kept far away by their brooding and depressed mother. It’s been hellish for me because I consider these children to be mine. (My choice, 100%: I’ve got my dear hounds instead of human children)
Missing these kids has been a true hole in my heart.
• Amongst the agony, my son (my basset hound) has required surgery.
In all candor, it has been a dark time when (for a very brief moment) I looked towards my sister and began to believe she was wise.
Until a few days ago; magically my open-hearted, funny and so very kind, heart on his sleeve thirteen year old godson began calling me daily.
💝 My heart burst open. 💝
Last night my goddaughter rang me, suddenly I felt whole again.
As though somebody had given me back my family. Such a blessing.
My girl, with her candor, laughter, introspective intelligence, gentle kindness and a voice that I could listen to forever.
It’s almost 4:00am, I am weeping with joy to have my family back.
The children that I didn’t give birth to but love as though I did.
The girl and boy who I consider (quite greedily) to be mine.
Yesterday, or was it the day before, my lost sister sent me an email.
Not literally – my email server went berserk and thousands of emails repopulated my “in-box“.
I received an email from MY sister; she wrote to me:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~June 19, 2010: