Thank you my love for being so kind as to choose the simple things in life for me. When I may feel happiness, boredom, anger, pain, love or misery. It is far simpler to have you dictate my emotions than for me to attempt any control.
I am forever grateful to you for all the nights you’ve woken me to list my many flaws. Not merely mine, but of those I deny as family or cry over when you look away.
You’ve accused me of things that you’ve imagined or dreamt. You’ve told me that God has sent me to save you.
You love me until death to us part.
You love me to death.
You love me to live.
Your unilateral decision to alter my chemistry is just beginning to hit me. It is a million thoughts that chase one another until they are dizzy and all fall down.
You sleep while I walk the days and nights away in the bitter cold. The dog doesn’t like you. Perhaps it is because he chooses his own way rather than yours; standing in utter hound defiance refusing to move for you. Oddly enough, he and I walk with little trouble as I let him lead. My hands are ice at two o’clock in the morning as you snore the stench of alcohol fills the room.
Thank you for leaving me with anxiety that makes me shake because you’ve got no self-control. I am left with nightmares that scare me long after I have woken, with nothing to cure my pain. The compulsion to do the ridiculous keeps me busy with things that you take for granted. So I shake from the inside and do not dare say a word.
Thank you for deciding that you knew better than my doctor; leaving me a fucking mess.
Your love for me is forever appreciated.