I simply cannot take another moment. My stomach clenches up and then I wait for my insides to betray me. It’s a matter of time before I am violently sick from the stress and the lack of any REAL support in my life.

Doubled over in physical and mental agony; I am never more alone. I survive for my dog; and he for me. The rest s feed off of what they can sink their teeth into on my bruised and broken body. Taking time, money, my soul and my life because they are able to do so.

If only I could cry but the damn medications won’t allow me.

It’s ALL up to me; where we live, how we afford our lifestyle and ensuring to kiss the appropriate asses! All of these parasites take from me and have an excuse for each ouch of blood drawn.

The cruelty and selfishness is choking me – quite literally. Please, why can’t anyone understand and take action rather than credit for the movement of the Earth?

I’ve learned to hide it so well that even those who claim to be “close” or “astute” have no idea of the painting which is truly a mosaic. Instead of clean brush strokes; I am thousands of pieces of broken tiles that are arranged to appear what it is not: whole.

Please send me some peace and the right to be who I am meant to be.

Save me!! I scribble over and again into a book which is housed nowhere. The pages are as empty as my broken soul. It used to be so full.

My sunshine, I miss you!

All that I can do at this point is to stay strong enough for my best friend: he is the only source of unconditional love known to me – now or ever. Why won’t the tears come?!

Let me take Benadryl and pass out; leave the insanity behind for eight hours. Sleep on the sofa with my best friend nearby, just us.IMG_5504.JPG


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