Once upon a time I knew you, I could predict what you’d say or want. It was comfortable and safe. I believed that you knew me as well; I was wrong on both beliefs. I have NO idea who you are any longer.
You are the man in the mask who fooled me into believing that you were an angel; while right below the surface a demon was waiting for me to let my guard down.
And I let my guard down. The demon came out and I have no interest in speaking with him, or being near him. The demon is deaf though – he can only see and what he sees is a kaleidoscope rather than reality.
Where did you get this mask? Were you always wearing it and I failed to notice? You scare me now. You speak to me in tones that are not laced with the love that I had imagined. The very words which you use are offensive. You speak to me like one of your buddies rather than your wife.
Did you know that you had a wife? Of course. Your wife takes care of your world and makes it easier.
Did you know that you were a husband? I don’t believe so because you’ve yet to fill the shoes of others before you. Despite endless conversations, you are ice that can throw off picks at will. Your will is to destroy me. Or to destroy yourself?
I don’t know you anymore.
You do not know me anymore.
What is a couple to do when the man takes off the mask and the demon makes himself known? Is it fight or flight? This is MY home, but you sleep in the master bedroom ALONE because I am with the dog, my only friend, on the sofa. I am safe on the sofa, my sweet dog feels safe too.
You’ve changed. I’ve changed. There is so much of my life that you don’t know about any longer. I don’t share my feelings or worries or joys. We talk in terms that only you understand and when I don’t respond your ire comes out. How dare you?
Of course I am hurt, alone and angry; the worst part is that I love you.