I probably should have gone to bed or curled up on the sofa; instead I could not be away from my best friend. It isn’t normal, I’m not stupid. But he’s in bed, a few drinks in him and I can’t remember the last time I slept in our bed. Instead, I am all the way downstairs where my sweet hound fell asleep. Why? Because I was afraid that he would wake up and be upset and confused; he never sleeps in the “man cave”. In fact, he hasn’t really been down here since we were on hospice for his ailing brother. What terrible memories! I’ve tried to redecorate the room, hang painting and move things around – but nothing will change the fact that this is where I sat, face soaked in tears; watching my sick baby boy.
There are people who are thinking that I am insane. They say terrible things like, “they’re just dogs”! To me they are far more, they ARE my family! When you are as alone in the world as I am, you cling to whatever gives you warmth and the gift of unconditional love. I miss my other fur-kid with a pain that equals the loss of any human being. Probably far more since my sweet boy gave me so much trust and love – dogs are truly far better humans than any man or woman I’ve yet to meet.
Music playing to sooth my boy, writing out my emotions and wondering how much further away I can get from the bedroom before I’m outside?