On this day, Yom Kippur, when it is s time of reflection and thoughts of those who have passed; I am filled with pain.
Last night I lit THREE candles for those I’ve loved so deeply and lost too soon.
The observance was not respected.
Today as I slept the day away to ward off hunger, again it was not respected.
It is a New Year for those who believe in these things.
I have never subscribed to these traditions but am making a gentle attempt to integrate them into my life.
For my New Year, I do not feel joy. There is pain, hurt and frustration; and, dare I say it: rage.
It is time for me to change my life.
I will do this out of love and respect for the THREE which I have lost:
• For My Father, who gave me Life, Roots and Wings
• For My Sweet Boy, who gave me Unconditional Love
• For My Sister, who gave me Faith
It is necessary for me to make changes.
The time has come for me to look inward and figure out what makes me happy.
My life has been a symphony of “poor me” and this must change. The constant music of deep, mournful tones hurt my ears and shatters my soul.
If there is no person in the world to love me and take care of me then I must take over the responsibility.
My challenges are simple:
• Sabotage from others
• Strength from within
• Understanding and accepting what I can and cannot change.
Serenity and peace are my holy grail, there is no alternative.