I Gave Up

After a great deal of stress and pain, I gave up. There was nothing more that I could do and so I let the endless thunderstorms pour down upon me. When I glanced in the mirror it was obvious that time had used me as the cliffs at Dover. No longer anything girlish looking back at me in the mirror, just a face I barely recognized.

Not a quitter, I had to give up or face losing everything. There was a mountain of carnage behind me and I couldn’t bare anymore.

Let them speak to me as they choose. Allow both family and friends to treat me without respect. I taught them how to treat me and so I must deserve the repercussions. Without any defenses, much like a small broken bird, I wait to heal or to be picked up by a predator and disappear forever.

Bitter, hurt and angry are ugly emotions and I am ashamed. The never ending list of items that make me walk slightly hunched and head looking downward.

Amazing, I still fall for the same childish pranks. Schoolyard torments now executed by cruel adults hurt me in ways that I cannot articulate.

The greatest pain is that his sister has cut me off from my Godchildren. The closest thing I will ever have to s daughter and son are now being used as mere pieces of property in her games. That, my fake sister, is the meanest thing that you could have done to all of us. I pray you come to your senses because forgiveness moves further away.

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