So what if I don’t sleep, eat or shower; nobody even notices except me. The collective “They” would only notice any change in me IF their needs stopped being met. Otherwise, I am an island.
More music that speaks to my soul and screams from my childhood (introduced to me by my father as a child of 9), repeated in my teens and throughout my life: I AM A ROCK.
To this day, Paul Simon and Art Garfunckle still speak to every part of this adult child; especially while in a full room of empty of “family”.
The sang to my artists soul; trapped in a world I cannot and do not want understand.
The Lyrics: (follow link)
I am in this world alone with the exception of my dog. I’ve nobody to call for help, nobody to rely upon – I am a Rock – literally.
The irony is in the subtle lie in the lyrics:
“A Rock feels no pain; And an Island never cries”
Our pain is real as are our tears, we choose to keep all of those emotions hidden for fear of needing somebody.
• Rocks may once have been mighty boulders which have been eroded by man and time.
• Or stolen from their home town, put in a child’s pocket and taken away without opinion or input. The rock is brought elsewhere and eventually forgotten about for decades it falls out of an old pair of pants – almost thrown away or given to charity.
I am out in the world on my own.
My envy is palatable when my good friend talks about his “Pops” (his father). I can pretend that I am brave because I am resourceful; not today.
Today I am broken, worn out and painfully exhausted.
Please just some rest.